So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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