The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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