White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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