i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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