47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
