Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
