bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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