He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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