You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
