I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
