i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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