honey bunches of taint.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I checked into jail on foursquare
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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