He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
