and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
