He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
