sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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