Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
