We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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