I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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