so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
