My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
