I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
