I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
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He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
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I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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