Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
