Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I need a beard to bite.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
