well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The air was thick with penises
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize