i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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