Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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