JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
