The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
