i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
