Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
