Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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