Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
