Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
