Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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