Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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