i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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