Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Randomize
