I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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