hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
