Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
