Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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