started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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