I hope mine doesn't look like that
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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