Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
