how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
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Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
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Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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