No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
