Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
