I think I can smell my own vagina right now
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
