it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
