She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Operation Purity has been aborted
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?