It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.