My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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