hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo