Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.