david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
