redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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