so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
