Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
