Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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