i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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