His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
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She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
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At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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