So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
