these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
