no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
A+ Viking dick
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
