I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
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The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
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Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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